Time to seek balance

Regretfully, I am stuck in the same place I was a few months ago...emotionally at least.  I have continued to enjoy my work, my family and my children, but....there is always a 'but' isn't there.  Well, for one, I am trying to shake loose of the Joker, who in turn is trying his hardest to hold on, despite being in another relationship...ugghh. Its my own fault though, because I keep allowing him in. He was my best friend for so long, its hard to let go. I know that sounds pretty corny, but its true.  That doesn't make it right.  I have to let go.  I have been doing a lot of thinking lately (but really, when am I not doing a lot of thinking?) and I know God is calling.  He has been calling for years. But lately, I feel it stronger.  I desire to fellowship. I desire for my children to fellowship, pray, and grow up in not only his knowledge, but his way of life.  I desire to have balance, and to let go of a man/situation that only brings temporary solace because its comfortable. I don't think God wants me to be with anyone right now. I think He desires for me to work on myself. Build myself up.  Its the only way that I may reach my further goals.  I know God does not want me to be with a person who is only a taker. He doesn't want me to be at the mercy of a deceiver, liar, whore, and womanizer. I KNOW He doesn't want this for me.  I know what I have to do.  I know where I want to go. I desire a true partner to fill that life with (when God deems it right).  I want to be a better mother, my children deserve it, especially taking into consideration the fact that there are others who no longer have their little ones with them!  I need to reach out and appreciate what God has blessed me with, and kindly give the enemy back what he is trying to put in my life.  Blog world, if there is anyone out there, please send some sincere prayers my way for refocus, balance, and deliverance from the drama. Thank you! and God Bless.